


Dangers and Daggers

by Ladiladida



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/M, Uncertainty, Unresolved Romantic Tension, trouble causing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 21:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19838497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladiladida/pseuds/Ladiladida
Summary: Charlotte wants Cormoran for herself. Only this time she knows things are different, so she has one last card to play. But for Robin, the sickening danger is that Cormoran might just go back to her.





	Dangers and Daggers

Robin had experienced real, horrific dangers in her life. She knew what it was to stand on what felt like the edge of a precipice, waiting any minute to plummet. But she’d always bounced back, fought back and remained herself despite the consequences. But right now, in this very different scenario, it felt as though two blades were so close to her.

The first seemed to be suspended just above her head, it could fall at any moment. The second, oh the second was pricking at her heart, ready to cut deep if provoked. These blades were not physical of course, but she couldn’t bear the suspense of the emotional impact. It rooted her to the spot, her eyes moving between the two people before her. As to her surroundings, they seemed muffled and distant.

“Bluey,” a soft voice began again, a disarming chill in the intonation of Cormoran’s pet name, “if it’s how you really feel, it’s time to tell her don’t you think?”

“Charlotte.” Cormoran seemed to growl low in his throat, his eyes flicked to Robin. In that moment, though tears pricked, Robin was defiant that she would not cry. Seeing that she could only pull her name from his lips, it was time for that beautiful face to look upon Robin’s.

“He should be telling you that he loves you, I’m sure he thinks it’s what he’s wanted to say for a long time, Robin.” Charlotte explained coolly, and for a flash, Robin vaguely remembered the book Rebecca she had read on holiday once as a teenager. Charlotte was very like that antagonist, she thought, cruel and triumphant. But what was unbearable was not only that Charlotte said such words that Robin longed to hear, but that Cormoran wouldn’t say them... or couldn’t. “He can’t say it, can you?”

“Will you shut your fucking mouth.” Cormoran replied, panicked, both women could see it in his eyes. Yet the source of that fear was interpreted differently by each of them.

“Now, now Bluey... just tell her and we can put this to bed...tell her that you love her and if you can’t... well...”

Whether it was Cormoran’s allowance of this continuing torment of Charlotte’s or the latter’s enjoyment of it, Robin wasn’t sure. But she snapped inside, angry and hurting.

“I don’t need to listen to this!”

Turning on her heel she walked as fast as she could, her instinct was to outrun those blades, avoid any crushing words. What hadn’t been said was already enough, wasn’t it? Charlotte was hateful and he’d come so far. Robin knew how hard it was to pick yourself up and move forward. But surely that’s what they’d been doing together, first as friends, then as... well she’d been wrong!

Angrily she wiped tears from her cheeks and flicked her hair from her face. Digging aggressively in all her pockets she located her car keys. It took a second or two of fumbling to allow her access to the car but she managed. 

Once seated, she screwed her eyes shut for a long moment, breathing deeply through the wearying pain expanding in her chest. It was deeper than the knife that Laing had pressed into her arm and colder than the gun Raphael had placed against her forehead. This had to be the end of feeling this way, it wasn’t what she thought.

Blinking hard several times, she placed the key in the ignition and slowly started to pull out the bay. Only when she was two thirds of the way forward did Cormoran’s limping form approach the side door. His hand instinctively reached for the handle, but Robin defiantly set the lock.

“Robin!” She heard him say and he stooped a little to try and catch her eye. Letting the window down slightly, the engine still running, she steeled herself to say what the vulnerable, rejected part of her needed. It was far from what she wanted.

“Robin, let me in.”

“I did.” She replied harshly, “but you just can’t let her go. What will it take?”

“I don’t... for fuck sake!” 

“Exactly... it’s exhausting. I can’t talk about this now...”

“Then meet me... please...” he asked.

Her foot hovered with slight pressure on the accelerator, her instinct screaming at her to pull away, her heart arguing the opposite.

“Why?” She asked, “to explain away this toxic thing between you...”

“There’s things I need to say, to explain...”

“About Charlotte?”

“No, not Charlotte... about you and me.” He said flatly, he looked tired. His twelve hour day catching up with him. But that wasn’t the only thing, Robin was certain. Her heart sank deeper, the pain flooded bone deep.

“I’ll... I’ll call you.”

“When?” He said, a pique of desperation in his voice. It was unlike him and she realised, his hand was on the door handle though he didn’t apply any pressure. But Robin didn’t answer, she raised the window and Cormoran instinctively stepped back. As Robin drove away, she refused to look at him in the rear view mirror. If she had, she knew she would stop again and let him in. No, on she drove back to her house, she could make the journey completely on autopilot. 

Suddenly, she was just numb and exhausted. Longing for a dark place she could crawl into where no one would find her.

Robin loved him.

She loved him

She loved him. 

This wasn’t a new realisation, but it had been kept comfortably in place since that curry at Nick and Ilsa’s. The pair of them had settled quite easily, even with the elephant in the room on her part. It was so easy that Robin felt that one day it would just organically happen. But, she had been a fool. Charlotte was not letting him go that easy, he was far from free.

For weeks she’d been appearing at random, initially on the outer edge of Robin’s awareness. Then she had fully invaded their world, observed them and finally decided to divide them. What hurt most was how easily the wedge had been driven, Robin thought herself and Cormoran had bonded deeper than that.

There was no dark place to be had, only her bed. Slinking up to it, she sobbed quietly until her eyes were as heavy as her heart. Thus, she drifted off into a sorrowful slumber.

......

Robin’s flatmate, Gary opened the door early the next morning. Cormoran couldn’t wait any longer than 8am and he’d buzzed impatiently. Gary looked him up and down for a moment, confused at the early arrival of a guest.

“You look like shit.” He said and Cormoran, having barely slept, could only acquiesce to this assessment. He’d been home and he’d even showered, but not a wink of sleep had visited him. Gary stepped aside and let him in. “She’s still in bed, she was crying last night when I came in.”

“Did you speak to her?”

“No...” Gary replied, “I was rather tipsy after the show... I’m heading out. The kettle has boiled, help yourself.”

As the actor left, Cormoran shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the hook and walked into the kitchen. Mechanically, he made two cups of tea, all the while listening for signs of his partner rising.

“If I was going to tell her anything, it certainly is never going to be because you demand that I do.” Cormoran had turned on Charlotte, now she was back to full health and cruelty, he felt no guilt. “What the fuck does my life have to do with you anymore?”

“It’s a simple question though, Bluey...”

“Stop calling me that!” He had barked, “stop appearing and trying to disrupt my life. You might have thought since that day in the gallery that you could unbalance my life whenever the whim takes you. Well guess what, you fucking can’t! Any feelings for you are dead and buried, do you hear me?”

Charlottes pupils had dilated a little, but she merely smirked.

“But you’re still too afraid to tell her how you feel. Why haven’t you? Is it too mundane for you, or are you just too scared?”

To stay and converse with her, argue with her was how she drew energy and power. He’d said all he’d had to say many times before, turning away from her, he’d done his best to catch up with Robin.

Now, as he ascended the stairs, he was scared. Robin was equilibrium and happiness for him, he might be about to ruin it if it wasn’t already beyond repair. But, he’d take the risk and say it anyway, he couldn’t hold on to it in private any more. He stopped at her door and listened, she was still sleeping. Holding both mug handles in one hand, he carefully opened the door. 

Robin was laid on her side, facing the him, eyes closed. Her face was pale, dark circles under her eyes. That was his doing and Cormoran felt a pang of guilt.

“Robin.” He said quietly, moving no further into the room until she would be awake. She did not stir, so he repeated her name again. Slowly, her heavy eyes opened and she hazily looked about for the source of the call. Blinking sleep away, she finally realised he was stood in the doorway, and a flash of pain swept quickly over her face.

“I come in peace... with tea... can I come in?”

Robin sat herself up in bed, her slightly frayed ponytail hanging loose. For a second she looked at him doubtfully, but to his relief she nodded. As he placed the tea on the bedside table, he felt her eyes examining his face.

“You haven’t been to bed.” She observed flatly.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind, you mainly.” He replied and seated himself carefully on the side of her bed. For a long moment, silence fell between them. Robin reached for her tea, having something in her hands gave her a sense of security. Cormoran looked down at the steam rising from his own mug and he contemplated what he needed to say.

“This feels strange.” Robin blurted, her eyes looking watery.

“I’m hoping it won’t when I’ve explained... please Robin...”

“I mean...” she chewed her lip, “I’m in my pyjamas.”

“Well...” he tried to break the tension. “I did wonder what type of pyjamas you might wear...”

That came out completely wrong, he screwed his eyes shut in embarrassment. 

“I mean...”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Robin said, a light but sad wisp of a laugh falling from her lips. How she looked just then made him long to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her until she was certain of him, kiss her until he knew he had her in return. Cormoran wanted to kiss her until the world ended. “Let me just make myself decent...”

“I’ll wait downstairs...”

“No, it’s fine... I have an en suite... just... give me ten minutes.”

As she snatched some things and disappeared into her bathroom, Cormoran focused on his tea and what he needed to say. Thankfully, he needed to think a lot, otherwise he would have found the thought of a naked, fresh Robin on the other side of that door too distracting to even sip his tea.

When she re-emerged, she wore a fluffy white dressing gown and her hair was freshly washed. Those notes of her shampoo, toothpaste and shower gel reached out to him, as her perfume so often did when she was about him in the office. It was intoxicating, it struck him deep and though pale and tired still, she seemed so serene in his eyes.

Though he was still seated, Robin stood a few feet from him, it seemed for the sake of self preservation.

“What did you want to say?” Robin asked softly, though her voice tremoured. Cormoran looked at her, and all the words left him except those that mattered.

“I love you Robin, I love you and I’m sorry.”

Whatever Robin was expecting, he’d clearly broad sided her with this revelation. Her lips parted a little and her eyes widened. Even flustered, she was beautiful. Cormoran got up this time and he reached first for her hands but in another instant cupped her cheeks.

“I don’t do speeches, Robin. But I can tell you that I love you and I have for quite a while. So... now I need you to tell me what you think?”

Cormoran saw tears spill onto Robin’s cheeks as she looked up at him. Gently, he brushed them away with his thumbs and then sensing what those tears had meant, he kissed her. 

He could taste salt and mint, he could inhale everything about her. It was like another set of arms drawing him to her, losing him within her. Robin’s own hands wrapped around him and he pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss. One hand went into her hair, the other behind her, anchoring her, holding her. Cormoran couldn’t quite believe that at last he had her.

They kissed for what seemed like eternity until Robin pulled back, eyes still teary. Before the kiss she questioned whether he still loved Charlotte too. But feeling him give himself to her, dare to lose himself to her, Robin Ellacott, she believed him. 

“I love you.” She said quietly, feeling his forehead pressed against hers and as the words left her, she felt him embrace her. A deep sign of relief seemed to leave him, his arms determined not to let her go at least for some minutes. 

At last, Cormoran had something tangible in another person. A person who he had learned to respect and trust, to like and then to love. It was unearthly, and it had been a long time coming. This was true happiness. Now it was he who felt tears pricking, but he managed to steady himself. It was Robin who kissed him again, Robin who now showed him the passionate side of herself.

When she moved one of his hands to the chord of her dressing gown, a slight tremble in her fingers, he looked at her. Robin in that moment looked both scared and more assured than he’d ever seen her. 

Slowly, his hands moved to untie the chord and he opened the gown and pushed it gently off her shoulders. Cormoran felt her step forward and kiss along his stubbled jaw line gently. His hands skimmed down the smooth skin of her back and rested on her hips. 

Their lips met again, heat rose between them, hands possessive and hearts full. Together they would tumble into this future, making a go of things in the ways they knew one another best, learning the rest as they went. Some minutes later, when Cormoran placed his leg by the bed and laid Robin beneath him, her skin on his, he was home. And for Robin, there were no dangers or daggers in sight, just Cormoran.


End file.
